I realize that I’m using this public space here as some sort of honesty therapy.
It is easy to write some ”honesty” notes in the Notes app and never open it again. It’s the same as (ok, close to) whispering it in your head once and forget about it.
Some things that are in my head are absolutely absent from others heads. And as simple and obvious as that is, it’s a great realization.
I have been obsessing over fears of mine for a very long time.
- The fear of being fat and unlovable – I am not going to obsess over that anymore. I was fat. 5 years ago. I’m strong now. I’m healthy. While things can always improve, I love the way I am right now.
- The fear of being an alcoholic – I’m not going to obsess over a few drinks and a good night with friends on a Friday. I don’t drink every day and I don’t want to. I don’t crave a glass of wine. I am enjoying alcohol in a healthy way. I like a social glass of whiskey, a glass of wine and Belgian beer. That’s it. I am not going to torture myself anymore with blame and shame.
- The fear of being wrong and not doing the right thing. Hell, that one is just as hard as it can get. Ego being as big as a hot air ballon. I am a know-it-all arrogant fuck that has a hard time hearing he’s wrong. I’m shedding that skin away slowly. I don’t know everything and heck, every day I know less and less.
Those 3 points above are a part of my ”unlearning” methodology. Unlearn something everyday. Unlearn behaviors, unlearn false facts.
What did you unlearn today?